I really and truly love the idea of cooking. I love the utensils, the pots and pans, the wonderful aroma in my home. I'm just not all that good at it. I try my best, but something always goes wrong. Not terribly, horribly wrong. I don't start fires, or have difficulty boiling water, but there will usually be one aspect of my meal that just isn't quite "right". I will make a beautiful stew, and the potatoes will be raw. There is always something. I have, however, mastered a salmon recipe from Jamie Oliver's The Naked Chef cookbook... unfortunately I am the only one in my family who will eat salmon. My last attempt at a nice, homemade dinner was inspired by a neat, little chicken cookbook, which was a gift from a girlfriend of mine. She assured me that the recipes were simple (I should mention this friend subscribes to, and catalogs every copy of 'Bon Apetite' magazine). I tried a recipe for Sicilian Roasted Chicken. The picture in the cookbook looked wonderful. Mine didn't look anything like the picture in the cookbook. Mine didn't look cooked. Julian took one mouthful and said: "Eeeew... disgusting.". The rest of the table fell silent, and kept on (slowly) chewing. Come to think of it - that was right before we all came down with that nasty flu.
jbxo
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The Top 10 Signs You're A Lousy Cook:
10. Your family automatically heads for the table every time they
hear a fire siren
9. Your kids know what "peas porridge in a pot nine days old"
tastes like.
8. Your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of the family
grabs forks and follows him.
7. Your kids favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer.
6. You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for your toy
poodle.
5. Your kids got even with the neighborhood bully by inviting him
over for dinner.
4. Your kids got suspended from school for trying to smuggle toxic
waste in their lunch bags.
3. Your husband refers to the smoke detector as the oven timer.
2. No matter what you do to it, the gravy still turns bright purple.
... and the Number 1 Sign You're A Lousy Cook:
1. You burned the house down trying to make jelly.
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Well, sista, at least you try! Actually, I have always enjoyed your cooking...but then again, I have been known to try to make a meal out of condiments.
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